About Sam Brenes
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Eulogy for Sam Brenes delivered by Rabbi
Leonard Rosenthal
"When
a wise man dies, how can he be replaced? There is a source for silver, and a
place where gold is refined. Iron is taken from the earth, and from stone copper
is smelted. But where can wisdom be found? And where is the place of
understanding? When a wise man dies, how can he be replaced?"
(After Job 28:1-2, 12)
My
friends, it is with great sadness we gather this morning to mourn the loss of
our good friend and Mensch, Samuel Brenes. Sam lost his long battle with
cancer on Friday morning. He died at home in peace surrounded by those he loved.
Although those who knew him would swear that he was much younger, especially in
intellect and in spirit, he was 84 years old,
God
does not bless this world with many people such as Sam Brenes. Although we will
struggle to preserve his legacy, and the values he cherished in the months and
years to come, there will forever be a void where he once stood and taught us
how to live. Truly, "When a wise person dies, how can he be replaced?"
When
I was visiting with Sam's family yesterday, they showed me his High School Year
book from Minneapolis, Minn. and the telling inscription of one of the teachers
of his youth, "You are more than equal to every demand made upon you in
life. It has been a rare treat to have you as a student. I wish you happiness
and success in all that God has endowed you with."
From
very early on, Sam was an excellent and talented student. His grade point
average was the third highest in a class of 400. His grades were bested by those
of only two other students, students with whom Sam was privileged to deliver
speeches at his graduation. One of them was a young man by the name of Monroe
Levens, who would eventually become Rabbi Monroe Levins of Tifereth
Israel Synagogue. It always gave Rabbi Levens great pleasure to inform the
congregation from the Bimah that Sam Brenes had known him longer than any other
congregant. When Sam heard the greetings he would characteristically in his
great modesty try to hide in his seat!
After
graduating High School Sam continued on to college, the only child out of the
five his parents bore to do so. Now of the five only a sister, Rose Aved,
remains.
Sam
continued to earn excellent grades before graduating college with a degree in
business and a Phi Beta Kapa Key - a Key that was to become his engagement gift
to Esther, and which she wears with love around her neck to this day.
Sam
attended school during the depression years, and life was very difficult. But
Sam persevered earning not only enough money to put himself through school, but
to help support his parents as well.
Sam
and Esther met when she was just 16. Although their love quickly grew and
blossomed, the difficult financial times of the depression kept them from
marrying until 9 years later. They shared 57 years of a wonderful marriage
together, but Esther always counts their time together from the moment they met
66 years ago.
Esther
told me that she was attracted to Sam's character, to his sweetness and
sincerity, and to his genuine interest and concern for other people.
Sam
moved to California, vowing to finally save up enough money to give him and
Esther financial security so they could marry. Eight months later he traveled
back East to claim his bride. The trouble was, he used up all of the money he
had saved to travel cross country and buy a car for the two of them. When it
came to their wedding day, Esther had to pay for the license. From that day on
she always kidded Sam that he married her for her money!
But
money and all of the material things it can buy never meant much to Sam and
Esther. As long as they had each other, they were grateful to God for all of His
blessings. They appreciated not only the big things, but the little things as
well. As Esther put it, they were always grateful to God for all of the small
kindnesses God granted them and the prayers He answered.
After
their honeymoon in Los Angeles, the newlyweds traveled up to Corcoran in the San
Joaquin valley. They lived there happily for 6 1/2 years, but decided to move to
San Diego in 1941 since the educational opportunities would be better for their
children.
Although
Sam worked as an accountant to provide for the needs of his family, this was not
his profession. His profession was "husband, father and grandfather."
Any one who has any contact with the Brenes family knows what I mean.
God
blessed Sam and Esther with two fine sons, Roger and Phillip. When Roger married
Lana, and Phillip married Judi their new daughter-in-laws were quickly welcomed
into the family and became as close to Sam and Esther as their own children.
Soon grandchildren Matthew, Kristin, Michelle and eventually Aaron joined the
family. A closer, caring, more tightly knit and loving family cannot be found.
When I asked them how they all managed to be so close, helpful, loving and
supportive of each other they answered simply, "We never knew any other
way."
Early
in their marriage Sam and Esther decided that if they wanted their sons to grow
up as positive and honorable human beings, they had to teach them not by words
but with deeds. They lived their lives in ways which would be models for their
children and grandchildren.
Sam
would never preach to his kids, but mirrored for them honest, kind, ethical and
loving behavior. Sam was never too busy to give his sons his time or attention.
Even after a hard day at the office he always managed to find time to spend with
them and play outside.
Even
when they grew to adulthood, Sam and Roger and Phillip still enjoyed each
other's company. Sam was quite athletically inclined. He loved softball and was
an avid cyclist. His exercise of choice when he was older was often a long walk
at a very fast pace. Esther told me his speed was the result of his ROTC
training at the University! Roger told me that he and his father used to go out
for a long 45 minute walk in the evenings - filled with wonderful conversations,
which was perfectly timed to allow Roger to finish his cigar before returning
home.
Although
Sam and Esther wished that Phil and Judi's kids could have grown up closer to
them, this did not stop them from sharing visits and wonderful phone
conversations. One of their special treats was to invite one grandchild to spend
part of the summer with them in California. They always greeted them with a
flower. Once here Sam and Esther took their grandchildren every where:
Disneyland, the Zoo, Sea World, you name it. As Kristin said, Sam wasn't always
a big talker - but you knew from his actions and his focus on you that his love
and concern was without measure.
Michelle's
thoughts about her grandfather were echoed by Matthew, and the entire family.
She remembers how Sam would never focus attention, or the conversations you had
with him, on himself. He would always talk about you, and the interest
and the attention were always genuine.
One
of Sam's greatest joys in the last few years was the birth of his grandson
Aaron, here in San Diego. The two of them shared something very deep and
special. Sam would curl up with Aaron and read him books and teach him about
astronomy, and tease him by letting balloons whoosh around the room.
Aaron just turned
seven. He chose to spend his birthday with his grandfather instead of anywhere
else. Sam rallied for the occasion. Esther and Sam's gift to Aaron was a
Polaroid Camera. The very first picture Aaron took with it was a picture of his
father, Roger and grandfather Sam. It was to be Sam's last picture.
Perhaps
even more telling about Sam Brenes than the quote from a teacher I mentioned to
you earlier, was the quotation found underneath his picture in that same
yearbook: "One does not have to tower to the sky to be great."
The
Torah says about Moses, the greatest leader and teacher of Israel, that he was
the most modest and humble person that ever lived. Well, if Moses was the most
humble person that every lived - Sam Brenes must have been the second.
Sam
had a great intellect and many wonderful talents, but he was always
self-effacing and never drew attention to himself. He was truly humble and
modest about all that he did.
Lana
told me that Sam once said that he was a "Jack of all trades, but a master
of none." It was typical Sam, but also typically modest. Sam was a master
of much skill and wisdom.
Sam
was a skilled and accomplished professional, who besides his ability to work
with figures also had a gift of utilizing the English language. He knew how to
give of himself, and was devoted to the synagogue. He and Esther attended
services and synagogue events until illness prevented them. He was an officer of
the Men's Club, and served on the Board of Tifereth Israel for 33 years, first
as Financial Secretary and later as Treasurer. He was the kind of person that
would not say to much at Board Meetings, but after all the discussion and
arguing had gone on, he would speak - and more often than not the wisdom of his
words would solve any problem that might have remained.
So
devoted was Sam to the synagogue, that he was only one of three people in the
synagogue's history to be awarded the title of Honorary Life Board Members.
There was no question that he was deserving of the honor. He was the only one of
the three to still be with us.
Sam
had many friends, but an especially close one was David
Brooks. When his friend, David, was ill the synagogue honored him. When
asked to speak he said, "Everyone should have a friend like Sam Brenes."
Sam
Brenes was a courageous, intelligent, kind, fair and gentle human being. He was
a sweet-heart of a person, with a wry and dry wit, whose laughter seemed to come
up through his chest from the depths of his very soul. He was empathetic, and
seemed to understand what you wanted or needed before you even spoke. He was
fair and honest, a man of character, who tried to see all sides of an issue, and
used his good common sense in order to come to his own conclusions. He had a
clear idea of who he was, and of right and of wrong, and he lived his life as a
reflection of those values. He was kind, giving and loving.
"When
a wise man dies, how can he be replaced? There is a source for silver, and a
place where gold is refined. Iron is taken from the earth, and from stone copper
is smelted. But where can wisdom be found? And where is the place of
understanding? When a wise man dies, how can he be replaced?"
Indeed,
Esther, Roger, Lana, Philip, Judi, Matthew, Kristin, Michelle, Aaron and Rose -
Sam was truly one of a kind, He will never be replaced. But the love he had for
you is still with you, and will sustain you and inspire you in the months and
the years ahead. The closeness of your family, something that was very important
to him, comforts you even now, as you grieve.
Sam's
life has been a blessing not only for you but for our entire community. We have
lost not only a worker and thinker, but a role model as well.
All
of us grieve his loss. We share your sadness. We all feel the void.
Let us
pray that God will comfort all of us, and that he will help us to remember Sam
Brenes and all of the good he did for all of us. Let us commit ourselves to all
he held dear. Let us through our good deeds and actions, try to in some way fill
the void he has left behind.