San Diego (special) -- Prevention of crime, and when that fails, how it should be punished are being seriously pondered by members of the Jewish community in positions of leadership.

Following a news conference at which he appeared with School Board member Sue Braun, San Diego City Schools Superintendent Alan Bersin issued a series of memoranda to teachers, parents and students about steps they may take to prevent violence in schools in the wake of the recent shootings at Santana High School in neighboring Santee .

A memorandum entitled "tips for parents" was extensive and bears repeating to HERITAGE readers, the vast majority of whom are beyond school age:

1. Discuss the school's discipline policy with your child. Show your support for the rules, and help your child understand the reasons for them.

2. Involve your child in setting rules for appropriate behavior at home.

3. Teach your child how to solve problems. Praise your child when he or she follows through.,

4. Help your child find ways to show anger that do not involve verbally or physically hurting others. When you get angry, use it as an opportunity to model these appropriate responses for your child--and talk about it.

5. Note any disturbing behaviors in your child. For example, frequent angry outbursts, excessive fighting and bullying of other children, cruelty to animals, fire setting, frequent behavior problems at school and in the neighborhood, lack of friends, and alcohol or drug use can be signs of serious problems. Get help for your child. Talk with a trusted professional in your child's school or in the community.

6. Keep lines of communication open with your child--even when it is tough. Encourage your child always to let you know where and with whom he or she will be. Get to know your child's friends.

7. Listen to your child if he or she shares concerns about friends who may be exhibiting troubling behaviors. Share this information with a trusted professional, such as the school psychologist, principal, or teacher.

8. Be involved in your child's school life by supporting and reviewing homework, talking with his or her teacher(s), and attending school functions such as parent conferences, class programs, open houses and PTA meetings.

9. Work with your child's school to make it more responsive to all students and to all families. Share your ideas about how the school can encourage family involvement, welcome all families, and include them in meaningful ways in your children's education.

10. Encourage your school to offer before- and after-school programs.

11. Volunteer to work with school-based groups concerned with violence prevention. If none exist, offer to form one.

12. Find out if there is a violence prevention group in your community. Offer to participate in the group's activities.

13. Talk with the parents of your child's friends. Discuss how you can form a team to ensure your children's safety.

14. Find out if your employer offers provisions for parents to participate in school activities.

A supplemental memorandum, bearing the logo "Peace Games" also was distributed by Bersin. It included nine other tips for parents:

1. Listen. Don't shut down conversation with your child--whether it is in response to a crisis or simply in sharing her ideas and values.

2. Stay alert for signs of fear, stress or trauma immediately following publicized incidents like those in California and Pennsylvania. Nightmares, sleep problems, hesitancy to be left alone or to go to school--all may be signs of childhood concern.

3. Tell your child the actions you have taken to help keep him safe. Sometimes personal concerns get mapped onto public headlines. Every child wants to be safe.

4. Stay in close touch with helping professionals and support networks if you become concerned about your child's response to these news stories. Don't hesitate to ask for help; a little risk to your pride may save many lives!

5. Control the amount of television news your child watches at these times. Repeated viewing of violence incidents can reinforce a sense of overwhelming fear.

6. Advocate with the school. Encourage school staff to listen for children's concerns, and go beyond metal detectors and security. Encourage classroom activities that teach conflict resolution. Advocate for adequate prevention services.

7. Advocate with your government legislators and leaders.

8. Model peaceful responses to conflicts yourself. Monitor your own road rage. Be careful about language. Demonstrate non-violent approaches to discipline and problem-solving at home.

9. Help your child act, so he does not feel helpless. Actions can include a card or letter to the victims of violence (c/o the local newspaper or hospital), letters to local media, involvement in a fund-raising campaign to help victims of violence. Be sure to think developmentally: young children can take action in very different ways from adolescents; but every child can reach out to help.