2005-12-01 Hebonics |
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Unidentified
researchers—what, you want their names?—report that "In
Hebonics, the response to any question is usually another question, plus a
complaint that is implied or stated. Thus... How are you?' may be
answered, 'How should I be with my feet?'"
They've found that Hebonics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or skepticism. An example is the repetition of a word with "sh" or shm" at the beginning: "Mountains, shmountains. Stay away. You want a nosebleed?" Another Hebonics pattern is moving the subject of a sentence to the end, with its pronoun at the beginning: "It's beautiful, that dress." Another example you want? There is the case of the Hebonics verb moved to the end of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as 'He's slow as a turtle,' could be: "Turtle, shmurtle! Like a fly in Vaseline he walks." Examples of answering questions with questions you want? So who's asking? Question: "What time is it?"
English answer: "Sorry, I don't
know."
Hebonic answer: "What am I, a clock?" Remark: "I hope things turn out okay."
English response: "Thanks."
Hebonic response: "I should BE so lucky!" Remark: "Hurry up. Dinner's ready."
English response: "Be right
there."
Hebonic response: "Alright already, I'm coming. What's with the 'hurry' business? Is there a fire?" Remark: "I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time."
English response: "Glad you like
it."
Hebonic response: "So what's the matter;
you don't like the other ties I gave you?
Remark: "Sarah and I are engaged."
English response:
"Congratulations!"
Hebonic response: "She could stand to gain a few pounds." Question: "Would you like to go riding with us?"
English answer: "Just say when."
Hebonic answer: "Riding, shmiding! Do I
look like a cowboy?"
To guest of honor at his birthday party:
English remark: "Happy birthday."
Hebonic remark: "A year smarter you should become." Remark: "A beautiful day."
English response: "Sure is."
Hebonic response: "So the sun is out;
what else is new?"
Answering a phone call from son:
English remark: "It's been a long time since
you called."
Hebonic remark: "You didn't wonder if
I'm dead yet?
-Forwarded by Larry Gorfine, San Diego, California |