As retold by Bruce Lowitt

Leon Schwartz dies. His wife calls the New York Times.

"I'd like to place an obituary," she says.

"I'm ready," the person on the obit desk says.

Leon Schwartz, beloved husband of Selma Schwartz, father of  Becky and Morris and grandfather of —"

"Umm, Mrs. Schwartz. I'm sorry to interrupt but I failed to mention the fee. The first five words are free. After that it's two dollars per word."

Selma Schwartz thinks for a moment, then says, "Make it read, "Schwartz died. Buick for sale."