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By Sheila Orysiek
 SAN DIEGO--Several years ago I attended a luncheon at which approximately 500 hundred volunteers from various civic groups were being honored. It was announced that everyone - everyone - would receive some kind of gift to take home: some memento of the occasion. Well, they miscounted and yours truly - yes, this humble writer - was the only person who left empty handed. But I was not at all surprised and therefore not disappointed. I am very lucky when it comes to parking spaces, but have never ever won a raffle drawing or door prize of any kind. This must run as a recessive gene in my DNA - as I can recall another such cousin and the Bella Family Circle experience with raffles.
The Bella Family Circle, comprised of descendants of Great Grandmother Bella and those who married her descendants, was a highly organized entity. The membership of approximately 75 attended monthly meetings with about 40 on average coming to any one meeting. The monthly dues of $1.00 per month, per adult, had been raised to $1.50 to meet rising costs of sending out the bulletin, birthday, anniversary and get well cards, as well as helping to defray the cost of the annual events and trips. Money was also used to buy trees in Israel which was a newly minted country at the time.
It soon became apparent that additional funds were needed so it was proposed, seconded and approved to sell raffle tickets at the Bella Family Circle meetings for a door prize provided by the hosting family. To forestall the possibility of competition (or other nefarious motives) involved in the purchase of the door prize a price limit was placed upon its cost. It also had to be useful to either gender such as: a coffee mug, wallet, or box of candy. Tickets sold for 25 cents and one could purchase as many as one wished. However, there was soon a rustle of discontent that some family members had an unfair financial advantage and that skewed the “luck” factor in drawing the prize winning name out of a hat.
In a capitalist economy this argument would hold no sway, but this wasn’t an economics classroom. If an elderly widowed aunt couldn’t afford to buy as many tickets as a financially successful cousin, no one was prepared to argue that the aunt
had to accept her ill fortune of not being able to purchase more than one ticket. So, the rules were changed and only one
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ticket purchase per member was allowed.
Unfortunately, this did not end the matter. It was pointed out that this, too, was unfair. Family households with several adults had more of a chance than that lone widowed aunt. Therefore, the rules were again refined: one ticket per household - which included any bubbe or zeyde who happened to reside with their progeny.
But there was more trouble. At first, Cousin Eileen always purchased a ticket, however as time went on she observed she never won anything. Her name refused to come out of the hat. She pouted a bit, murmured a bit, and finally retaliated by not purchasing a ticket. When this was noticed (she made sure that it was) she was urged to try again. She did - with the same unfortunate result. She never actually said the words, but implied that somehow in some way this was intentional; there were “forces” at work.
It must also be noted that she came to the family meetings infrequently which also skewed the luck factor, but she felt that when she was there – she was there – and that’s all that mattered.
At one particular meeting, after years of never buying a ticket, she was heard to say that she never bought a ticket because she never won. When a Magna cum Laude university educated younger Cousin, who was unaware of the thorny history, pointed out that she never won a prize because she never bought a ticket there was a horrified silence. This was bad enough, but he pursued it by saying that her reasoning was a good example of circular thinking. With righteous tears in her voice she proclaimed her thinking wasn’t “circular” (whatever that meant to her), but straight line logical. If she wasn’t going to win, she wasn’t going to buy.
When Cousin Eileen decided to move to another state to join her son, the Bella Family Circle voted (without telling her) that at the last meeting she would be attending - she would get the door prize no matter what ticket was drawn. The problem was, of course, to induce her to buy a ticket in the first place. Though urged to try one last time, she would not budge - her decision was implacable - she would not buy.
I remember her happiness when her name came out of the hat anyway. She didn’t seem to notice the anomaly and beamed with pride as she clutched her prize, vindicated that her obstinacy was well repaid.
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